Mens seconds ship eight at Garvey

The mens seconds kick off their season away to a sharp-suited and much loved Garvey seconds in the completely reviled Junior 1 cup. Whatever that all means. The verdict? Crimbo cup final appearance has been downgraded by leading hockey pundits to “unlikely”.

A solid first half outfield performance and a typically gung-ho display in goals from repurposed one-kneed left back Andy Walls (“Make yourself big and scary Wallsy” we said, forgetting that you only need the “make yourself big” part. The other bit comes for free) saw us head in for tea and bickies a respectable 1 goal down.

But, even with a defence densely packed with weapons grade hair-dryers, sage advice dispensers and the notorious hyperactive gobby rage-merchant David Shepherd, our Jo Baer-style bench arrangements began to take their toll. First to fall, Jamie Orrr flapping around in the dugout like a landed fish with a vicious case of “gasping for air” quickly followed by the Shepster – “MY LEG IS SORE!” he bellowed, and before our ears had stopped ringing, “MY LUNGS HAVE GONE MISSING!” (before you ask he has a backup pair, but they’re only for bellowing).

So, lungs collapsed, throats closed over, calfs melted, hamstrings went “ping!” and in leaked another (look away now faint hearted readers) 7 goals. But not before something more unexpected than a bombing raid by the Luftwaffe’s Schwein Luftflotten – a two goal haul from that elusive (training-wise anyway), all singin’, disco dancin’, ex-goal preventin’ outrage against hockey…electronic drum break please, maestro…Adam Tatee. Both goals ably assisted by Tatey approved supplier recently off the market Scott Moore.

Final score 8-2 but lots of positives for the season ahead – new league, new players (well done Scott Irwin, welcome back Andrew McGimpsey and Paul Adgey and for limited time the peanut lunged, gammy legged Shep) and new arrangements (Friday night lights).

We’ve two weeks off now so get down to training, get ‘yer subs paid.

As usual to Jim Patterson for rulin’ the roost and once again to Wallsy again for stepping into the kickers.

PMB Man of the Match:  Adam Tate

Report by Stephen Magee