Match Reports

Fishy business at Kilkeel

Savvy seconds play the long game and keep league intentions close to their chest in meaningless 3-2 league cup defeat to rascally Seasiders (Kilkeel 2nds away in League Cup) and their Brexit defying German.

1-0 up after the opening exchanges following some splendiferous buildup by Dave “The Rage” Shepherd the seconds were caught with their defence still sleepy after polishing off the half time cheese and port and as a consequence shipped a pair of duffers to our fish-filleting foes to finish second best.

Arguably (for objectivity’s sake, you understand) playing the better hockey between the 25s with Statler and Waldorf controlling operations at the back, midfield micronaut Jonny Linter and the stately Andrew “George V” McGimpsey showing they “got game” in the midfield and new recruits Nathan and Robbie fitting in like they weren’t new recruits, things were looking all sweetness and light.

The seconds sound pretty hot” you think to yourself.

However, once we cross the opposition 25, brows furrow and moods darken like a mid-winter Dalzell.

With last years sharp-shooting duo, the renowned energy conservationists and mutual appreciation aficionados Gilmore and Shannon (the latter also eking out a career in hilarious internet-punditry) having legged it to the 1s, it was up to this years crop to make sure that no chance was deemed worthy of being left unsquandered. The stand-out efforts (if that’s the right expression) of which being teenage vampire Jamie Orr’s mid-circle corner flag assault and the less and less infrequently spotted Richard Willis (managing to fit in a game between his hectic toddler birthday party schedule) point blank miss. What? “Tatey” you say? Well, of course he was wafting around in there as well.

Ho and hum. It’s the dopey cup! One more week of this madness before the league starts. One more week to get fitted out for shooting boots so we can all avoid the Irwin Look of Disappointment ™.

Many thanks to all you whistle-a-phobe supporters who braved to the elements to heckle the opposition, Keith Conway for overcoming said whistle-phobia and 1s obergruppenfuher Gareth McKeown for coaching and the beardy Buddha for operating the Ravenhill shuttle.

Thanks also to Andrew McGimpsey. Some men stand up and accept the laundry others have it “accidentally” left in their boot by devious skippers.

PMB Man of the Match;  Stephen Magee

Report by Stephen Magee!!

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