Double Tatey’s beer allowance from one pint per goal to two, watch the flood gates open and progress to the next round of the cup. It’s such a simple plan. His first half one goal deluge from a pass by “Tatey Approved Supplier” Paul Adgey (trading as Paul Work on the advice of his accountant) was enough to give 2s a rare but very deserved win over a stacked Garvey side who added to their teeming bench regularly over the course of the first half. I wonder where those guys came from? They seemed to know a lot about the Garvey 2s game earlier in the afternoon.
Towards the tail end of the week things looked grim from the friendly but moody lighting of some of Amsterdam’s more relaxed establishments. Shorn of the services of Goal-a-tolla Scott Moore (cruelly cut down by disease – wear pyjamas and keep the heat in next time), defensive gravity-well Mockey (en-route to Scotland – by freight), Magee and Paul Adgey (ageing infrastructure), Mike Orr (tree climbing) and a keeper of any kind (work! romance! permission denied! etc) – there was nothing for it but to order another cocktail and become “dark”.
But, with a new sunrise comes new hope! Adgey’s knee recovered Wolverine-style (a bit like the McGimpsey hamstring earlier in the season). Jordan Linter, Jonny Linter and Keith Conway cried “we will stand with you!” (well, “…for a half” in Keithy boy’s case). Chris McSherrygritted his teeth, looked dramatically into a passing breeze and proclaimed “I. AM. A…KEEEEEEEPER!”.
Building on last weeks fantastic but ultimately Gimsville performance the forward line of Stephen Forrest, Mark Shannon, the irrepressible Tatey and the occasional Jonny “yeah, I can play up front” Linter set about Garvey for all they were worth. The midfield of Paul “The Bomber” Adgey and his fighter escort of Steven McGimpsey, Jordan Linter and Jonny “actually, I can play anywhere” Linter made their opposite numbers day a complete misery. Jordy in particular gave the Garvey skipper a pretty good idea of what it must be like to have a particularly vicious ferret down his trunks. The defence were awesome to a man. Andrew “bone-cruncher” Boyd, Chris “attacking centre back (!)” Speers, Allen “The Wolfman” Irwin (head of mop-up operations), Keith “Lazarus” Conway, Ally “Mockey who?” Hunter and last but in no way least Chris McSherry – not only a keeper as it turns out but a very, very good keeper.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again “the bloody league boys!!!”…anyway – to the next round!
Thanks to Mark Linter for umpiring and recalibrating his objectivity just enough to counter some pretty lily-livered stuff from Garvey’s goon. Thanks to Gareth Baillie for volunteering his services (Marks that is, not his own).
Report by Stevie Magee. E&OE