Months of planning! Political game playing! Back stabbing! Recriminations! Threats of violence! Alleged (and denied!) unauthorised walkies for Fido! That\u2019s what it takes to get a North Down Dirty Dozen south of the wall to Cork.<\/p>\n
And what do we get when we get there?! Soaked by a craptastic watering system! Blasted by Arctic winds! Snowed on! Hailed on! And, finally sunned on all before the game started. Sad to report that things did not improve after the whistle. Using his years of experience, guile and skill skipper Magee eked out a toss-win and hence the pushback that bought us a slight advantage in the opening exchanges that enabled us to hold out until the 30th second before conceding.<\/p>\n
And so the game progressed. There were rhino felling challenges, disagreements over the legality of diving\/falling tackles, knee failure, catastrophic calf muscle implosion, arial bombardments, an almost total absence of marking from both sides and utterly pants attacking also from both sides. Cork slotted in 6, one of which was one of the jammiest goals ever witnessed giving them a conversion rate of approximately 0.1%. We on the other hand had a 100% conversion rate – 1 shot 1 goal\u2026from Allen Irwin no less. Go us!<\/p>\n
Meanwhile on the side lines\u00a0Adam Tate<\/a>, seemingly overcome with being forced to spend more than 10 minutes on the pitch due a lack of the usual smorgasbord of relief forwards on the bench, performed a personal protein purge in a conveniently placed bin beside our dugout. Seek medical advice Mr Tate.<\/p>\n Fast forward to the afters\u2026<\/p>\n Ever popular but ironically out of favour North Down nudist\/midfielderStephen Dalzell<\/a>\u00a0came within a whisker of a \u00a3900 accumulator only to have to settle for \u00a3100. The mathematically astute Dalzell deemed this an \u00a3800 loss. Mr Half Empty I think!<\/p>\n Mockey proved that portly middle-aged men can carry off a hoodie when needs must. As the absent\u00a0Paul Work<\/a>\u00a0(nee Adgey) commented over social media \u201cMockey – he\u2019s so street!\u201d.<\/p>\n Andy Walls<\/a>\u00a0of our cultural attach\u00e9 commissioned a one off live performance of popular northern ballad \u201cThe Sash\u201d from a local street performer. We believe the commission was refused due to the performers lack of familiarity with the piece, although we\u2019ll have to review CCTV footage and police reports to confirm.<\/p>\n Bizzaro baggy assed jeans are in – as modelled by hirsute GK\u00a0Lee Brown<\/a> and the regurgitating but otherwise immaculately turned out Adam Tate. The ladies seem to like\u2019m boys (the jeans that is).<\/p>\n